Farmfoods frozen faggots (circa 2000) – I was brought up on offal (savoury duck anyone?) and Mr Brains Faggots in a Rich West Country Sauce * (btw what is a West Country Sauce and is the rich one better than the non-rich alternative?) was a staple in in the ’70’s after my parents invested in that wonder of the age, the home freezer. These were best served with Smash instant mashed potato and tinned garden peas for the ultimate hit in salt, sugar and preservatives.
Anyway Farmfoods had just opened up where I lived and I was looking around and saw these frozen faggots, Farmfoods own brand. I made the mistake of thinking that it would be hard to mess up a product made from offal and filler with a bit of gravy so I’d try these as they did not have Mr Brains. I placed them in the oven and soon the smell of cheap and filling faggotty goodness was wafting around the house. As I had moved on from my mother’s cooking styles from the ’70’s I decided to accompany these with some lightly boiled new potatoes and a few green beans.
Serving up was a bit irritating as the tops of the faggots had boiled in the sauce and were just mush, whilst the bottoms has welded themselves to the bottom of the foil tray. Still after a bit of spooning and scraping I had the mixture on the plate and placed the potatoes and beans along side.
Sadly the gravy was merely thick brownish liquid and had no taste whatsoever. I was longing for the Rich West Country sauce of my childhood. Can’t have everything I thought and tried a forkful of the mushy and yet at the same time crunchy faggot. I was going to say it tasted like cardboard, but I think that would be doing an injustice to cardboard. It tasted mildly peppery, but not in a nice way like freshly ground peppercorns, it had more of a wallpaper paste thing going on. In fact if you would like to try this, just add some stale white pepper to some Polycell and I think you will be close. Needless to say it was thrown away and a trip to the chippy saved the day.
* If you would like to read a review of these try this excellent review at shitefood: